Spiritual seeking is a dance that we do because we are not quite ready to tell the truth. It is a distraction to feeling what it is that you are really wanting. It is so important to tell the truth of what you are longing for. When we tell the truth, we bridge the gap back to our true nature. Before you became anything, you were the unknown. Let yourself be swallowed up by what you are afraid of.
Suffering is a clue, your own personal koan, that something has been placed outside of yourself. Suffering arises when we imagine that having things outside of ourselves is going to alleviate our longing for wholeness. This becomes a habit of mind. Trace all projections back to the place where imagination was birthed, back to the emptiness that you really are.